Unusual mood
Hello,
Today is an unusual day. I seem happy yet I know how trully sad I am inside. I feel happy… I simply don’t understand how I can go from extreemly depressed to only mildly depressed in a week. Not that I’m not happy that I’m not as depressed anymore but I’m simply confused… Droping 27 points on your depression in a week without the aid of a medication usually doesn’t happen… I realized today that someday the person I was talking about will disapoint me but she’s only humman I can’t expect her not to… I just hope that that day is a VERY long time from now… I felt like cutting again this morning. I wish I could stop these feelings. I feel happy but very extreemly sad at the same time and I don’t understand why. I want so badly to be genuinely/purly happy but I just don’t know how to get there right now. I wish I did. I’m feeling happy yet still depressed and confused at the same time. My friend I was talking about yesterday said there would be some withdrawls from the self-harm but I didn’t want to belive her and now 5 weeks later I realize that I did go through those withdrawls which is what is causing this feeling of happiness. I’ve pushed past the heaviest bits of withdrawls now it’s just the small things every once in awhile that I have to deal with. Wish me luck with continuing to get better!
Yume667