The question: Does dance come as naturally and easily to you, as learning to play 9 instruments came to you? 

The Answer: Actually the answer is both yes and no. I am very odd but not all at the same time. In private lessons I get through things very quickly and unexplained only shown… even learning new moves. When I am learning in a class of many people though there is something about it that prevents me from learning as quickly. Take learning a turning jete, back attitude for example… I was taught the right side in a private lesson and then I was taught the left side in a class. I cannot do the left side the way I do right. The right side has much more of a traveling feeling to it where as the left side stays in place and rotates on an axel placed at the attitude so it almost looks like seconds airborne. So, to sum it all up, LEARNING dance in the proper environment comes very quickly and naturally but mastering things came just as quickly as learning to play the extremely high notes on the clarinet or flute. They took time. Just the way the clarinet became what I excelled at, the flute easiest, the guitar hardest, and oboe most natural, I have that with different styles of dance. Ballet is what I excel at, Lyrical/Jazz is the easiest, and hip hop is the hardest. Hip hop truly is not hard nor is tap. I simply do not know how to let go as well. Pointe is the most natural for me. The way I think of my shoes as a part of me is similar to the way I thought of a double reed versus a single. My pointe shoe is an extension of my foot and a double reed was an extension to my lungs where as my flats are a slight burden and a single reed took much more time to become as easy.  I know for a fact that I would not have been able to achieve this if I didn’t BELIVE in myself. Going back to what I was saying about my ideal learning environment, mine just so happens to be private lessons with things left unexplained because when I was younger I learned to be dependent on other dancers around me and when it is just the teacher and me there is no one to “look answers off of” I suppose you could say. Most people would have an ideal learning environment of either private with things well explained so that they can get the individual attention you need or in a group of people with things well explained so that yes, you can ask other questions but so can other people and other people you will see making mistakes so that you can learn off of them but for me as I previously stated that runs the risk of becoming dependent on other dancers. But to answer the question in short Learning comes quickly but it takes awhile to actually MASTER the combination or move.

 The question:  life in genral… what do you think about it? I mean don’t you feel as if dance is the only way out of reality? people say all the time that there is no way out of situations… but isn’t that the reason we are all here at the dance studio every week? to get away from reality and have a life that no one else can have?

 Think about what you want, why you are there, and why did you choose a fantasy with dance….

The answer:   As for what I think about life in genral… I think that yeah it can be great if you chose that path for yourself because it can be horrible too… if you OR your parents set you out on such a path… I think that your parents can set you out on such a path by beliving life sucks themselves and since your parents are your main influence on life then you will take that view most likely unless you’re smart and/or rebellious  dance in this situation could be viewed litterly as my parents in the sence that dance has raised me for the most part… for me, dance… its like that story book love between prince charming and the long lost princess. sorry to use such an anoligie but it for some completly and totally random reason it was on my mind… but back to my point. For me dance… it came and it sweapt me off my feet and I’ve been in love ever since… so yes in a way it is indeed my way out of reality when things get super tough and when things are “normal” DANCE IS REALITY… so again yes that is why we are at the studio every week working our asses off… so that we can get through everything day by day moment by moment… our non-dance friends could never understand this because they dont know how we feel toward dance they don’t understand that for us, it is litterly our lives… and as for what I want? why should that matter? what I want is what I have… and I have gods grace to be able to anything in this world that I so choose so long as I put my mind, heart, and my very soul into what I am doing… smarts doesn’t explain why I can play 9 diffrent instruments, sing, DANCE, and act… yes, I may be smart but I personally think that someone is watching out for me  but then again… maybe not… maybe I’m mentally strong? this is a debate I have had with myself for very many years… I personally am at the studio because dance… makes me feel indescribeable… it makes me feel free of “the chains…” the chains being all of the tough spots in life that many teens don’t know how to get free of ya know? I personally don’t even know if dance was a concious decition for me… I think it was and still is one of those things that is like breathing… you don’t CHOOSE to breath and you don’t have to think about it either… thats why teaching can get hard for me at times becuse I DON’T think about the movements… only when its new or I’m concentrating too hard… for me, dance, it just… comes to me… I think I’ve pretty much answered your question(s) now… sorry its long but when it comes to dance I suppose if I absutly had to I could answer how I feel about dance in one word and that word as I said previously was “indescribable” but I felt like writting and so I did

P.S. go to http://www.dance.net/topic/7675031/1/Poetry/Thunderstorm-Edited.html&replies=0 for the edited version of “Thunderstorm”

  I almost feel bad that my dad has to write me a $70 check the DAY AFTER Adrians 18th b-day… but it’s for my pointe shoes \m/ ^_^ \m/… the fitting is for Grishko’s Ellite… its on 3rd October (first friday) and the time is TBA… Im so excited… oh yea, this happend before I wrote the poem ^_^…

  Today (Thursday) Mrs. Bakersmith used my half-assed paper as an example of a PERFECT paper! and she hung my poem up in the hall!!! I’ve got a good feeling about that… I can tell I’m gonna do great in that class… \m/^_^\m/

like the rain,

of a thunderstrom,

you just stand there

and watch me cry…

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I don’t need you here,

so I thought…

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I need him now, more than ever,

I don’t want to love YOU anymore,

yet, my heart wont let you go…

you fucking fake, just tell me the truth,

and tell me you don’t love me anyomore…

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Scared of myself…

I hurt more as the days go on…

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I just can’t let you go,

so show me how much you hate me…

yes, I will cry, and yes, it will hurt…

but even if you love me,

it will hurt less in the end…

if only you wern’t my friend…

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I don’t see the light anymore…

you hurt me more and more everyday…

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Please, just leave me be…

* new stanza